As our children head back to school, Jessica reflects on the all too sad and real truth of back-to-school safety.
Many kids are going back to school or starting soon. Despite the excitement for the new school year, new school supplies (my favorite), and getting to see their friends again, there is another list that falls on the opposite spectrum, like dealing with bullying, tough new teachers, or even the terrible possibility of a school shooting. I wish we didn’t have to worry about this last one. With my three kids in mind, two of them school-aged, I wish this wasn’t a thing.
The Pain of Back-to-School Safety
Inevitably, it makes me think about mass shootings and the communities that have been marked by such tragedies. I know this got dark fast, but it was something that, as a Latina mom, impacted me and kept me up at night a few years ago. There was one particular event that affected me the most, I used to lie in bed afraid of the what-ifs. One night I asked my partner in tears, “Why do they hate us so much?” He hugged me tightly and that’s all I needed. When I heard about the shooting at a supermarket in El Paso, Texas, I was in disbelief.
Growing up in Mexico, in a northern state close to El Paso, a city we visited multiple times, I was afraid. I tried to understand how someone would drive for hours to get to a community to end lives based on some sense of superiority, targeting my community. I can’t imagine how this community has had to rebuild trust, apoyo mutuo, and try to make sense for the younger minds. Hundreds of miles away, from Florida, I still feel connected to this border city. It reminds me of school shopping with my mom, and visiting for las ofertas de Black Friday, and it will always have a place close to my heart—a familiar destination from my childhood and introduction to the US.
Back in 2019, when this event took place, I thought of the collective trauma we could all be experiencing, especially after another incident in 2018, closer to my current home at Parkland High School in Florida. A heavy feeling of defenselessness, the idea of our lives being at risk from others who are suffering greater traumas or are subject to ideologies that only bring us down as a society. It was a lot for my heart to think about, for our family, and our two kids at that time. Soon after, the pandemic distracted me with a different worry. With each new school year, I’m reminded of the catastrophic possibility, and I want to hug my babies closer and longer.
The Reality of Heading Back to School
I regularly receive notifications from my kids’ school about lockdown drills and random student screenings. And there is that duality of security and concern.
Are they too exposed?
How do they perceive the proactiveness of these practices? Are my kids afraid to go to school?
Could this have long lasting effects?
My kids are seeing the preventive measures, what about potential perpetrators and their access to firearms?
My mind doesn’t stop, but I try to focus on what I can control and arm myself with knowledge. I’m sure my boys are not unique enough to come home from school with a succinct “good” after being asked about their day. I wish I could know it all—to be a fly on the wall of every room they walk into to ensure it is a good day, or to be their Pepito Grillo on their shoulder who tells them right from wrong and keeps them safe. But I can’t; I have to let them learn their ways and trust those around them, to protect them and guide them in the right direction, as I know my time always comes to help them understand their emotions and questions as best as I can.
Most of the time, they seem oblivious to the real possibilities of these drills. However, just the other day, my 13-year-old shared that he had a dream about being chased by a person with a firearm, at school. I froze and listened. He asked how he felt in the dream and his reaction was almost as if he were describing his latest video game mission. I still don’t know what to think of it, but I have a feeling the subject can come up again in a different light. And I hope to be ready.
I want us to be ready, mija.
As scary as it might be, unimaginable to think, we’re more afraid of the unknown and although we cannot control it, we can be informed about talking about back-to-school safety.
Here is a great resource from the Child Mind Institute to help us ease our minds and prepare us to be the strength our children need. Plus, it gives us the validation we all seek, acknowledging that it is a hard topic to navigate. For our beloved teachers, I can only express my immense gratitude for the careers you’ve chosen and the dedication to which you fulfill them, and I promise to keep you and our children in mind at the polls, ensuring I support the candidates that will take the necessary measures to defend us.
When my firstborn started pre-k, I did a “cute” first-day school photo: “I survived my first day of pre-k.” After school, shootings became more prevalent, and after the incident at El Paso, I regretted it. I cried and hated those words, how real they felt and how hard it was to swallow them. I questioned how I was supposed to defend my baby against all of this. I couldn’t see answers back then, and sometimes I still struggle to find them, especially with other atrocities across the globe. Then I look at their smiles, their innocence, and their immense hunger to take on the world and make it better, and I try my best. I trust them and I trust the higher powers and our ancestors looking after them con fervor. When my first baby was 4 years old, he said “Mami, I like this world. I’m going to save it.” And I sure hope he does, because there are enough risks for all of us.
Looking for more back-to-school inspiration? Be sure to check out our Back to School Guide.
