Special Education.
IEP.
Delay. Delay. Delay.
This was not in my plans for my child.
And yet, I feel like I was prepared for this half a lifetime ago.
As an undergrad, I briefly toyed with the idea of becoming an elementary school teacher. I can’t even remember why, since I’ve wanted to teach history at the college level for most of my life. But I took education classes for two semesters and even spent time in an elementary classroom working with a teacher. I quickly realized I can’t deal with small children, lol. I do much better with college students.
One of the classes I took was The Exceptional Child, where we studied a wide range of disorders and disabilities that could impact a child’s education and development. This was where I first learned about ADHD, autism, dyslexia, and other developmental disorders. It was also where I learned about IDEA (Individuals with Disabilities Education Act), early intervention, and IEPs.
It ended up being one of my favorite courses because I learned so much. Ever since then, I’ve said that every adult — and especially every parent — should take a class like that.
When my daughter needed feeding therapy starting at age one, I knew it would eventually end, and it did after a year. I understood the importance of therapy and early intervention, so we started as soon as possible.
Then my son needed feeding therapy.
And he’s still there, with no end in sight.
I never imagined I’d be the parent sitting at the IEP meeting.
I never imagined the therapies would last for years, with no end in sight.
I never imagined that sitting in a lecture hall as an undergrad twenty years ago would prepare me for becoming my child’s advocate.
A friend of mine with a disability told me that having a disability is like having another job. She’s right. I’m constantly on the phone, writing emails, following up with appointments, tracking applications, organizing receipts. It’s too much, but not enough all at the same time. We can’t fail our child, because there is no one else to advocate for him. And knowing what I know about early intervention, this is the most critical time for him to get all the support possible.
What will happen when I’m no longer here?
This is the question all parents in our circle ask. Who will fight for our babies when we’re gone? Who will help them live fulfilling lives with dignity after we’re gone?
Sigh. I know I shouldn’t think that way, but it’s hard not to go there.
For now, it’s time to approve the IEP, look at our family’s schedules, rearrange work hours, figure out transportation, and get ready for this next chapter as my child’s advocate. I know my son will be in good hands with his care team, and we are getting him the support he needs. And I’m grateful for my own therapist who is helping me navigate this facet of motherhood. It’s going to be a life-long journey, but we’re going to get through this as a family with God’s help.
