My daughter, my oldest child, starts preschool next week. We had our first “Meet the Teacher” event yesterday, and I feel ALL. THE. FEELS.
As a former student, I’m so happy to get to do this again vicariously through my daughter. Back-to-school season was my favorite because that’s when I’d get brand new school supplies. I LOVE school supplies. I literally go to office supplies stores and wander around for fun. Does this make me weird and nerdy? Yes. Do I care? No.
This season always reminds me of my first day of preschool. It was a good day, until it was time to go home. My classmates and I were getting ready, and I walked to my cubby and started packing my supplies. My teacher told me that I couldn’t take them home with me, and I cried…in the classroom, during the entire bus ride, and when I arrived home. That’s how I remember my first day of preschool.
So yes, shopping for my daughter’s supplies a few weeks ago made me ridiculously happy. I can’t wait to do this with her every single year.
As an educator, I am so excited to see how much my daughter’s going to learn. She is starting to learn English, so I know her bilingual vocabulary will flourish. She already adores books, and soon we’ll be getting her a library card. (I basically grew up in my local library—it was even my first job!) I’ll do everything I can to nurture her love of reading.
When I saw her classroom with toys, books, and activity centers, and I was able to picture her as a student. I hope to be able to support her and her teacher as much as possible. There was a brief moment in college where I considered becoming an elementary school teacher; I even took some of the required courses. However, I quickly realized that I would not be able to handle working with young children, and I decided that I would do much better teaching adults in college (lol). Our teachers are heroes. They spend just as much (or more) waking time with our children than we do, and they deserve so much more than our society gives them. I am grateful that my daughter will have teachers, aides, and a support system to help her this year. As a professor who tries to build the confidence of every one of my students, I hope to do the same for mija.
But as a mom…I’m a wreck.
I have so many questions running through my mind:
Will my daughter cry on the first day?
Will she get scared during drop-off when a stranger tries to pull her out of her car seat because my husband and I won’t be allowed to get out of our car to unbuckle her?
How will she do when she and her (non-bilingual) teachers can’t understand each other?
Will she make friends?
Will the other kids laugh at her for her broken English?
Why are schools giving preschoolers access to tablets?
How can I limit her screen time?
How do I parent with all this technology?
Why is my daughter, my sidekick for the past four years, leaving me?
Why is she growing up so fast? Will she stop needing me as much?
And the hardest question of all: How do I start letting go of the person I’ve spent the most time with for over four years?
Sigh.
I’ll have to ask my mom if she cried on my first day of preschool. If she did, she didn’t let me see her. I have my tissue box ready for next Monday, but I will hold back the tears until my daughter’s in the school building.
