Jessica shares her experience with working mom guilt, balancing a corporate career, and raising children.
There is so much guilt that comes with wanting—or needing—to work while raising children. Either way, we’re constantly dividing our time and our decisions between developing little minds and developing our careers. And no matter what anyone says, that’s hard.
I’m not even including household work because, let’s be honest, that’s a never-ending conversation.
As an immigrant mom, there are even more layers to this reality. There are the simple things, like “hay comida en casa” versus picking up a quick drive-through dinner that your tías would gasp at. Then there’s the thought that our tatarabuelas could probably never have imagined leaving home to earn a living instead of caring for their children full-time.
Recently, I found myself wondering whether they would be amazed, proud, or completely losing their minds…just like I sometimes am.
As a working mom in corporate America, I’m constantly juggling meetings, school nurse calls, the latest app for the next school fundraiser, failed dinner plans, or a tantrum over the wrong-colored cup.
I genuinely enjoy much of what I do. I get to work alongside a wonderful team that often makes magic happen, and I’m grateful to have the flexibility to come to my sons’ rescue whenever another virus inevitably knocks on our door.
But all of it at the same time?
No gracias.
My mind becomes exhausted. I get grumpy, or I pretend to be indifferent so my emotions don’t get the best of me.
I should clarify that this isn’t a post about how to overcome it all.
Has anyone actually figured that out?
Asking for myself.
I think the real issue isn’t that I haven’t figured it out. It’s that I expected it to work out perfectly every time.
Just like my 8-year-old believes every moment of the day should be fun, I somehow believed that by this point in adulthood, balancing work and motherhood wouldn’t feel so difficult. With all the technology and productivity tools available, surely there had to be a solution.
But there isn’t.
And honestly, any tool or system is only as effective as the person using it. Some days, I convince myself I just need to push harder.
Prepare meeting agendas.
Complete follow-ups.
Do the bare minimum for Spirit Week.
Continue developing leaders.
Do the laundry…and eventually put it away.
Meet KPIs.
Skip lunch.
Wake up earlier.
Stay up later.
Answer more emails.
Reschedule doctor’s appointments so I don’t fall behind.
The more I accomplish, the more successful I’ll feel…
Right?
Well, no.
Instead, the guilt gets worse because I slowly become the version of myself I never wanted to be.
The reality is that more isn’t always more.
Spending more hours on the same task doesn’t necessarily produce better work. Often, stepping away creates space for creativity and fresh ideas instead of simply forcing ourselves to push through.
Lately, I haven’t been very good at remembering that.
For example, I genuinely enjoy sharing my experiences here, but if I’m being honest, I’ve put off writing this article for almost two months. Every opportunity to write turned into another chance to catch up on work deadlines, presentations, and making sure my team had everything they needed.
Stress has a way of convincing us that everything is urgent.
When we’re under stress, our bodies release cortisol. During prolonged periods of stress, our bodies begin prioritizing survival over other important functions, like supporting our immune system. As Simon Sinek explains in Leaders Eat Last, our brains don’t distinguish very well between a life-threatening situation and a missed work deadline. The physiological response can be remarkably similar.
When we let stress build without addressing it, it can eventually affect everything from our immune system to our digestion and our overall well-being.
If you’re carrying something heavy right now, take the break.
Do something that’s just for you.
Something peaceful.
Something joyful.
I hope that when you come back—with a little more rest and a few more endorphins—you’ll see the task in front of you from a new perspective.
I’m certainly trying to do the same for myself and for my family.
There will always be seasons when burning the midnight oil is unavoidable. I know that.
But remember to make time to fill your own cup, too.
Your children won’t remember the extra hour you spent answering emails or perfecting a presentation. They’ll remember the mom who came back to them with love, laughter, patience, and the energy to enjoy being together.
Échale ganas, mija.
