Nobody told me that chronic pain would be my reward for becoming a mom. My hands hurt when I put any weight on them. Putting my son in his car seat hurts, and I can no longer do pushups. My knee pain from an old injury flared up during my second pregnancy, and three years later, my knee still hurts. My hips are stiff and I can’t cross my leg in one direction. It hurts to get in and out of bed. It hurts when my kids jump on me a certain way. I can’t sit with them for long periods of time. My body always hurts.
I don’t remember any major pain during my first pregnancy. That came after the delivery. I developed “mommy thumb” and had to get steroid injections around my wrist to be able to function. I’m a professor, and my job requires me to constantly type. I’m also a violinist, so I really, REALLY need my wrists to function, preferably without pain. The steroid injections helped, and so did six months of pelvic floor therapy. My therapist was wonderful, and she helped me to be kind to myself through my long post-delivery recovery. Physical therapy was a major financial sacrifice, but I felt it was worth it because I got my body back after feeling for so long like my body didn’t belong to me. My mobility improved, I was starting to fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes again, and then…I got pregnant.
My second pregnancy (while also caring for a toddler) was a lot more physically challenging. I gained more weight, my knee pain flared up, the wrist problems began again, and my elbows began to hurt. Physical therapy helped immensely, but it all went downhill after the delivery.
I now had two children under the age of two, and the costs of medical bills, formula, and everything else were too much for me to seek pelvic floor therapy again. I thought I could do it on my own; after all, I still remembered all the exercises. But I was a mom of “two under two,” and I was EXHAUSTED. I still am, especially since my husband and I don’t have much help. I am running on fumes most days, and I’m in constant survival mode, so I’ve done what so many moms do…make sure my family is taken care of first, even if it means having no energy left over to care for myself.
I used to be a runner. I would go for a run almost every morning. I was also a dancer, not professionally, but before the kids, dancing was my main form of exercise. I could dance for hours—cumbia, merengue, quebradita, two-step, bachata…I did it all. Now, I can’t get through a full song without losing my breath. I’m so tired of being tired and in pain. This is why I made the decision to start physical therapy again. I know I need to heal. My therapist is helping me with my various issues, and we’re taking it very slowly. I know this will be a long process, and it will again be a major financial sacrifice for my family, but I believe it will be worth it. I don’t know if I will regain the mobility I had before having kids, but I will try. I want to be the best version of myself, physically and emotionally, for my family. There are moments when this feels selfish, but I have to remind myself that I am a whole person, not just a mom, and my needs, my health, and my healing matter.
I don’t remember any major pain during my first pregnancy. That came after the delivery. I developed “mommy thumb” and had to get steroid injections around my wrist to be able to function. I’m a professor, and my job requires me to constantly type. I’m also a violinist, so I really, REALLY need my wrists to function, preferably without pain. The steroid injections helped, and so did six months of pelvic floor therapy. My therapist was wonderful, and she helped me to be kind to myself through my long post-delivery recovery. Physical therapy was a major financial sacrifice, but I felt it was worth it because I got my body back after feeling for so long like my body didn’t belong to me. My mobility improved, I was starting to fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes again, and then…I got pregnant.
My second pregnancy (while also caring for a toddler) was a lot more physically challenging. I gained more weight, my knee pain flared up, the wrist problems began again, and my elbows began to hurt. Physical therapy helped immensely, but it all went downhill after the delivery.
I now had two children under the age of two, and the costs of medical bills, formula, and everything else were too much for me to seek pelvic floor therapy again. I thought I could do it on my own; after all, I still remembered all the exercises. But I was a mom of “two under two,” and I was EXHAUSTED. I still am, especially since my husband and I don’t have much help. I am running on fumes most days, and I’m in constant survival mode, so I’ve done what so many moms do…make sure my family is taken care of first, even if it means having no energy left over to care for myself.
I used to be a runner. I would go for a run almost every morning. I was also a dancer, not professionally, but before the kids, dancing was my main form of exercise. I could dance for hours—cumbia, merengue, quebradita, two-step, bachata…I did it all. Now, I can’t get through a full song without losing my breath. I’m so tired of being tired and in pain. This is why I made the decision to start physical therapy again. I know I need to heal. My therapist is helping me with my various issues, and we’re taking it very slowly. I know this will be a long process, and it will again be a major financial sacrifice for my family, but I believe it will be worth it. I don’t know if I will regain the mobility I had before having kids, but I will try. I want to be the best version of myself, physically and emotionally, for my family. There are moments when this feels selfish, but I have to remind myself that I am a whole person, not just a mom, and my needs, my health, and my healing matter.
