This summer I joined other Millennial and Gen Z moms—because apparently it’s become a trend—in giving my daughter a “90s summer.” The idea behind it was to recreate the core childhood memories of a typical summer in the 1990s, with the main requirements being increased freedom, outdoor play, simple entertainment, and unstructured time. A lot of moms bought into this trend as a way to resist a parenting culture of overscheduling and too much technology.
Full disclosure—this was not something I originally wanted to do. I am such a planner, and as a former teacher, all of that unstructured time kind of made me nervous. But my 13-year-old was adamant that she didn’t want to do any summer camps, planned activities, or online classes. So I gave in—mostly because we’re in the “everything is a fight” stage—and I am just so sick of arguing with a smaller version of myself. We also live in a fairly safe neighborhood, and she has many classmates and friends nearby, including her best friend at the end of our street.
As we’re now getting ready for Back to School, I have to admit my daughter was right—this ended up being a really great decision for her. As corny as it sounds, a “90s summer” was exactly what she needed. My teen struggles with anxiety and can easily become overwhelmed if she has too much going on. This summer was the least anxious she’s been in as long as I can remember… and instead of focusing on the mom guilt that comes along with that statement, I am just grateful I took a chance on having an unstructured summer.
Back in June, we mutually decided that she was mostly in charge of planning her summer and keeping herself entertained. Her basic routine this summer included staying up way too late playing video games on calls with friends, then sleeping in super late. Coincidentally enough, it’s almost 2 in the afternoon as I’m writing this, and she is STILL sleeping. Once she’d wake up, she’d grab a quick breakfast and then head to the neighborhood pool with her friends. She would stay at the pool till 7 or 8 in the evening (don’t worry—I was good at nagging about putting on sunscreen). They would sometimes walk around the neighborhood in a larger group, stopping at each other’s houses along the way to pick up snacks and drinks. Giving up control was difficult for me, but I could tell how happy and empowered it made her feel.
Goodbye, Summer 2025, and thank you for being exactly what we didn’t know we needed!
