Maddie reflects on her daughter’s (and her own) tween firsts as they both work through what it means to be 12 years old.
My tween turned 12 back in May and it has already been a whirlwind of a year (please don’t remind me how much of that year I actually have left). 12 has definitely already been a year of many “firsts”!
12 is the year she lost her first (former) “best friend” due to the friend bullying her and ostracizing her from the friend group.
12 is the year she started wearing makeup to school, and honestly, she applies highlighter better than me.
12 is the year name brands suddenly became very important to her. Adidas? No, apparently she’s only a Nike girl. And if we’re going to Sephora? It better say Glow Recipe, Fenty, Rare Beauty, or Sol de Janiero on that label.
12 is the year that I wasn’t allowed to pick out her backpack and lunchbox, nor her school supplies. No bright colors over here; only red and black folders, please.
12 is the year where she wants to spend most of her time in her room, listening to music or Facetiming with friends. And in the car? She just puts in her airpods, and she DEFINITELY doesn’t want to talk.
12 is the year that she moved across the city, changed middle schools, and became part of a blended family.
12 is the year she had her first “boyfriend”, and went on her first date (to see Minions at the movie theater).
12 is the year that she stays up super late, sleeps in until 11 AM on weekends, and suddenly naps are ok again. And her daily “uniform” consists of a hoodie, nike pro shorts, and white crocs.
12 is the year I heard her say her first curse word (at least while being around me).
12 is the year of hard conversations about friendship, vaping, and why she can’t have social media yet. And what type of pictures she should and should not be taking of herself. It’s also the year of conversations she found to be slightly awkward, like when I had to explain to her how to use a tampon.
12 is the year that she first experienced cramps, and was appalled at the idea of having to deal with “this crap” (her words) for the rest of her life.
12 is the year she went to her first concert (Ludacris… in the middle of a rodeo stadium… yeah, it was as weird as it sounds).
12 is the year that she wants to be dropped off at places, and thinks she doesn’t need me for anything anymore. If I do happen to be around her friends or classmates or teammates, she doesn’t want me to talk because I am “extremely embarrassing”. Who knew my mere existence could be so annoying to someone?
Some of these year 12 firsts as a tween mom have been easy to get used to, and others have been a bit more challenging (and exhausting). I definitely have a lot of “mom doubt,” where I am constantly questioning if I am making the right decisions. Year 12 has been about giving her more freedom, responsibility, and autonomy… while also helping her realize that she’s not ready for as much as she would like yet. I try to give both of us a little grace, because while this is HER first time being 12, this is MY first time being the mom of a 12 year old. Am I a good mom? Well, don’t ask my tween when she’s mad at me (lol). I’m far from perfect, but hopefully because I care about doing a good job raising her, (fingers crossed) I actually am.
 tween firsts as they both work through what it means to be 12 years old.){kind=link}