Ana shares how her mother’s and grandmother’s actions impacted her motherhood journey.
Growing up in a Mexican household meant our days were filled with more than the scent of fresh tortillas, while Mujer Casos De La Vida Real played on the kitchen TV. My days were filled with love, strength, and unspoken sacrifice. My mother and my Tita were the center of the family, they were the ones who would welcome everyone and would save them from anything, no matter what. They taught me from a very young age that the love of a mother is not defined by who birthed you, but rather who has raised you and given their everything for you.
My mother always showed up for me and gave me everything like the most powerful woman on the planet.
The Lessons She Taught Me Without Even Noticing
My mom taught me so much in life and still does. Her role as a mother extended beyond me; she was always there for everyone, no matter what. She moved mountains and made miracles to give a dream Quiceañera to my cousin, she devoted her early hours of the day to care for my little nieces, she dug holes and painted tall buildings just to earn a paycheck to sustain our needs. She always managed to have our favorite meals, to clean the house, and help at school while still helping my grandmother cared for the whole family, no matter their age or marital status. From her, I learned the act of serving, the beauty of giving, and being kind. She taught me that actions mean a thousand words and that quality can be stronger than quantity.
I built a friendship with my mom that helped navigate through life a little more easily, to learn how to value and respect myself. I grew up watching my mom never give up, always giving her everything despite people’s lack of appreciation for her actions. The many pieces of advice she gave me about not giving up and the common sayings, “no te dejes de nadie” or “nadie tiene porque hacerte menos y hacerte llorar” are still some of the main pieces of advice I keep at heart. I try to navigate life with a serving and warrior heart, but centered on the idea of not allowing anything or anyone to push me down. As a mother now I am guiding my children to the same advice, however, I am showing a different thing that my mom didn’t showed me, I am showing them to walk away from those who do not appreciate and value me and my actions.
Embracing My Role As a Mother
Now, as a mom to three children and a stepmother of one. I find myself learning and growing the same way my mom did, or at least I try. I hear it when I see my daughters praying before going to bed, or when I tell them, “You are strong, wonderful, and no one is better than you; everyone is their own person”. Those small rituals, sayings, and routines that growing up felt so small are now the biggest learning aspects I want to teach my kids.
Sometimes I catch myself doing something exactly as she would, such as drinking my Mexican soda straight from the bottle, or saying “cuando me muera voy a venir a ayudarlos a encontrar todo (when I die I still come to help you guys find everything)”, or gently rubbing my son’s back when he’s had a hard day. And I smile, because I know I’m keeping something sacred alive through my motherhood journey.
My Motherhood Journey
Motherhood, for me, has become the opportunity to honor and also change the past and the future that I have inherited from my mother and my grandmother. She is my motivation, my heart, my soul, and my biggest support. Because of her continuous dedication and love, I can continue following her advice as a mother, but also her encouragement to live my dreams and accomplish my goals, because those are some of the things she didn’t get to do.
It’s about taking the wisdom my mother gave me and adapting it to meet my kids where they are. It’s about showing up, again and again, with a full heart even on the days when I feel like I have nothing left to give. She’s given me the power and the strength to know that a mother can do anything and everything for her kids.
My mother may not have had the words to explain all she did, but her love was always loud in the life she lived. And now, it’s my turn. I carry her lessons not just in my heart, but in how I mother. Even better yet, I carry her with me, I take her with me, and all the beautiful journeys I embrace in my motherhood journey.
